Dear Bloggers,
Frank and I are wiping the sweat from our brows and emerging from our secret laboratories gratified and exhausted knowing that our groundbreaking work on the female anatomy is complete. The alphabet is covered and our test subjects sent home satiated. Women everywhere will someday benefit from our selfless research on the inexhaustable bounderies of female pleasure. There was a time there during the process that I thought we might lose Frank, having gone three nights without sleep or rest, but he got his second wind and discovered spot L, M, N, O2 and P. It was a glorious moment in our research. Farkel's P spot was abandoned altogether, we quickly realized that he was there only for the donuts.
Now that we have saved Humnanity, Frank and I are once again ready to tackle the problems of the day in that virtual wasteland you all reside in, yes Bobcatty, that means you. We are planning a few personal appearances and some charity work helping homeless Playmates, but we should have time to help you with your petty squabbles and ridiculous crisis'. Remember, as you're carving up that turkey today, to be Thankful for Frank and I, for if it wasn't for us Idyllwild would just be real estate, pawn shops and hookers. Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Alright All you Ladies out there,
Frank and I have been holed up in our test laboratories to try to solve the problem of the mythical "G" spot. Discovered in the 70's, we've decided that there has been no new frontiers forged regarding that gloriously delicious letter in the alphabet. After putting our heads together we have broken new ground....the "F" and "C" spot. Found in the 3 o'clock and 9 o'clock position in relation to the "G" spot, the F and C spot is twice the fun and lasts twice as long as its cousin the G. Frank and I have made it our personal mission to continue our research until we find a spot that corresponds to every letter in the alphabet. With the addition of the F and C spot to lexicon of female anatomy, that leaves 21 more new worlds to discover in our quest to go where no man has gone before. Husbands, continue this groundbreaking work...and wives...you can thank us later.
As always, we're here to help,
F and C

Dear Bloggers,
I'm on special assignment deep in the bowels of Orange County. I'm talking deep cover. I will, however, be blogging from deep within my bunker. So keep those cards and letters coming. Though I am far away from you, my children, I have not abandoned you. I will always make time to disrupt the everyday madness of my faithful followers. Remember, my dirty drawers are with you always.

Alright all you fellow wise-crackers out there,

Here's the info on the play I'm doing in Costa Mesa, just in case some of you might want to come and support your favorite punching bag. Name of the play is "Saturn Returns", it opens this Friday, Oct. 23 and closes Nov 22. You can get tickets at scr.org So get off your keyboards and treat yourself to some culture.

I need some advice:
I'm busy now in rehearsal for a new play I'm doing so I'm a bit too busy to do much blogging now. I had hoped that my "partner" would pick up some of the slack but when I check our website I notice that he is asleep at the wheel. I feel that in the past that I have covered for him but now I feel that this relationship is not a reciprocal one. Should I sick "Art Farkel" on my deadbeat partner or just let it slide? After all, what's the point of having a Director of Blogland Security if you're not willing to sick on someone from time to time? Please help!!!

News Flash for all "Bad Advice" bloggers:

As it stands for now here are " The Bad Advice Cupboard Members" as appointed by the Grand Poobah himself.
Art Farkel - Director of Blogland Security
Bobcatty - Chairperson of Morale and Flattery and
Protectorate of Cute Shoes
Lou Bacher - Propaganda Minister
Yeah but Still - Wildlife Director (as in nightlife) and Purveyor of Cocktails
Anonymous (whoever you may be) - Head of the Secret Blog-Service.

There may be more appointments to round out the field but for now these are your "Cupboard Members", show them the same respect you would show Frank and me. To them I say, "may God have mercy on your souls".

So, it seems that a couple of our loyal bloggers attended the CSA 36 meeting last night. I'll give you my take on it. Obviously a number of people caught word that this was going to be an entertaining piece of theatre. It was. Bill Brown, the EDA representative, was tert and to the point. To me he was there to let ICRC know who's running the show. He proved his point. The county is holding all the cards and if you don't want the county to make your life a bureaurocratic nightmare, know who makes the rules and make sure you abide by them. Point well taken. However, if I was an elected official I would want a person with some people skills being my liason to my constituants.

ICRC has let some things fall through the cracks, nothing monumental in my opinion, and has made a couple of bad political moves (ie: not admitting Bill Brown to the notorious meeting) but other than that the people at the meeting seemed pleased with the job ICRC is doing managing Idyllwild recreation. Overall it was an education, for ICRC, for me, for many who attended the meeting; an education in the workings of local government. Now ICRC knows, cross your T's and dot your I's and let the your benefactors in your bedrooms if you want to get things done.

I want to thank our bloggers for their civic mindedness and for reporting accurately on what they saw at Democracy in Action. I think our bloggers are the ones you should trust for your information, with the exception of anything derogatory said about me, other than that you can count on our blog for all your information needs. I'd like to thank the players who put on this little drama for our entertainment pleasure. ICRC, a dynamically confused performance underscored by great restraint and self control. CSA 36, a muted interpretation of the storyline but a strong stage presence nonetheless. And the star of show, Bill Brown, a focused and intense portrayal wrought with a brooding intensity and understated hostility. Bravo to all the players and I look forward to future installments.