Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I need some advice:
I'm busy now in rehearsal for a new play I'm doing so I'm a bit too busy to do much blogging now. I had hoped that my "partner" would pick up some of the slack but when I check our website I notice that he is asleep at the wheel. I feel that in the past that I have covered for him but now I feel that this relationship is not a reciprocal one. Should I sick "Art Farkel" on my deadbeat partner or just let it slide? After all, what's the point of having a Director of Blogland Security if you're not willing to sick on someone from time to time? Please help!!!


  1. Wow, there's been nothing here for months! Well, Conor, I have to let you know that while you've been away doing that play where you play an 88-year-old man, Frank has NOT been asleep at the wheel. Quite the opposite. He's started doing this Dr. Phil thing, where he tells everyone things like "Only YOU can change your life!" He tells them that whether they're requesting bad advice or a plate of pasta. He bought "Life is Good" tee-shirts for the entire staff at Cafe Aroma, and now he's doing team-building exercises involving - this is hard to explain - zip lines and finger paints, all set to folk music. It's really distracting when you're trying to nurse a single cup of coffee for 3 1/2 hours. Can't you do anything about it?

  2. Dear Corny,
    Thanks for including me in your cupboard. Glad I'm not in your closet.
    However, at my request, Sparky has been maintaining surveillance on your closet while you're away.
    Regarding Frankie, before I go after him, you need to man up some. I stopped by Aroma last night and found they were doing a roast for that dolt, Kevin Brennan.
    I was looking forward to hearing you verbally eviscerate him, when I saw you standing there with the look of fear and terror of a knock-kneed 14-year-old girl with new braces and a stain on her pink dress as she prepares to give a speech to the student council.
    This is the first time I've ever seen someone laughed at more for what they didn't say at a roast than what they did.
    Rest assured, however, I'm pulling Sparky out of your closet, and have reassigned him to keep an eye on Frankie while you're away.

  3. Dear Mr. Farkle,
    First of all, Kevin Brennan is not a dolt. He just spends most of his time in the forest where table manners are not an issue. Think about it. How could a dolt ever land a fire cracker of a wife like that?
    Corny , as you like to call him, was not intimidated by Mr. Brennan, who, I am sure is of spotless character,but his pony tail. Pony tails on men with beards have always made Conor uncomfortable.

  4. Dear Bobcatty,
    Sorry about the radio silence on the old internet of late. I am under constant surveillance and must be carefull. This Art Farkel has disguised himself as the widow of a dead indian chief and sits through 2 seatings in the main dining room ,
    picking at a small aroma salad every night. I stand at the bar with my back to the door( a very un italian thing to do) to show him that I have nothing to hide , but he won't go away. He just sits there,like a totem pole, staring....smiling and asking for more bread. I don't know how much more of it I can take.I feel like I'm being water boarded , but with extra lemon wedges on the side. That's all for now.
    P.S. Life is good.

  5. At a rehearsal, you probably have more time than ever. While you're sitting in the auditorium watching the actors, are you just playing solitaire, sending text messages or doing your taxes.

    Wake up, don't play Wally Pipp to Frank's Lou Gehrig 9even if he was German, it's in Europe and close to Itailee!

    Get back here, you want to come home don't you. If you do, build another shed. This time fill it with concrete so it doesn't collapse again due to the weight of the snowfall caused by the drought.

  6. What has this town come to? I can't believe that some high school dropout is using the name of Idyllwild's only newspaper's Editor to post on this blog. Look at that grammar and spelling! That can't be the real JP. JP would also know that overacting and over emoting are the keys to Conor's stage and silver screen success. His show's producers highly value his non stop opinions and endless advice. That's what first attracted Spielberg and Roman Polanski to him.
    Boys, what Bad Advice would you give this individual who is trying to pass as our Award Winning Editor? I can only hope Monk doesn't find out this hoax is being perpetrated.

  7. Dear JP ,
    This is just the selfish attitude that has become more and more prevalent here in Idyllwild. Wanting to keep Conor's bad advice all to ourselves is understandable, but not quite fair to the rest of humanity. We all miss him very much, but face it, the man is on a mission. Where will it lead ? Who knows,perhaps broadway, maybe the white house.
    Lets just all pray that it is not prison.

  8. Dear PSLB,
    You sir, are a bully. May I suggest that you find another playground
    Here's a NEWS FLASH for you. News paper editors have feelings too.
    With the current editor retiring and Conor out of town, who is J P supposed to look to for guidance? Certainly not me. You should have seen him at the bar yesterday , when he was told we were out of chocolate chip scones again. The man is very emotional right now and should be allowed to express his real feelings away from Cafe Aroma without the fear of criticism by people like you. What better place to do that than here at BAD ADVICE IN THE MORNING or in front of the post office?

  9. Frank, Bully? Name calling is beneath your dignity. As the Essence of Idyllwild you have a responsibility to uphold and until the next E of I is voted in next July I suggest you get a grip on your temper(sometimes known by other names as well.)
    You miss the point. It's NOT the real JP's entry. I think it's one of the few people that have been the recipient JP's journalistic pen that want us to think it is JP. Hm, the Chief, the Water Board (oh no, we like them now), Hemit Valley Hosp., ICRC, Garner Valley Assoc., etc. The list of possibilities goes on.... I think it's time for the real JP Crumrine to make a statement. To clarify the chocolate chip scone issue; More important to JP is that there be some chocolate chips inside the scone. You don't want to be around when he discovers they're only on the top.

  10. Dear Probably Stoned , Likes Beer,
    Please forgive me. Your right , name calling is beneath my dignity.
    All I'm saying is, how do you know that it's not the real JP ? What if it is? What if it is the REAL JP finally reaching out ? Maybe he is the real essence of Idyllwild. I like to think so.

  11. Dear Fartle,
    I understand that a covert operative has to stay on the low-down, but this stealth act you're playing at borderlines non-existence. When I ask you to go Cheney on someone, in this case Frank, I expect you to spring into action. This was your first mission and I have to say that I'm very disappointed. You choose to turn on me for not viserating Kevin Brennen at his 50th birthday, in front of his children. You should know, I never pull out the good material when children are in the room. Maybe I looked nervous because I was trying to be discreet, and as everyone in town knows, discretion is not my strong suit. From now on don't use the image of your Prom date to describe my behavior. Keep your horror-filled flashbacks to yourself.

  12. Dear Jp,
    Time is not the issue. My severely handicapped computer is the issue. My ethernet port is shot as is my battery, so I can't get internet in my condo down there, and my battery is shot so I can't plug into Starbucks across the street. As for my shed, that shed is the Rolls Royce of sheds. Keep disrespecting it and I'll have to take you out there with a switch.

  13. Dear PSLB,
    Roman Polanski hasn't even been in the country for the past 30 years. He was set up, by the way...just like Frank.

  14. Ohhh Connnor,

    Regarding the "good material", my children are out of town. And anyway, why WOULD you want to take "Jp",of all people, to the shed?

  15. As far as your need for advice regarding your partner, your posts of Nov 5th and 26th would suggest that you decided to just let it slide. And I suspect that Frank is still doing research. By the way, what does F and C stand for?


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